In which the Bad Idea Fairy rides with her Favorite Junior
So, people online were asking about Juniors at endurance rides.
|The Bad Idea Fairy and her Junior Rider|
I'm the Bad Idea Fairy.
Nobody asked for my opinion, but I'm going to give my opinion anyhow.
I may be 5,000 years old, but I was a young Fairy once, and
I haven't forgotten how the Senior Fairies brung me up right!
Rules for Juniors Who Want To Ride with the Bad Idea Fairy:
- Forget what your momma said about nutrition. Camping is a great time to discover what 3 meals a day of Skittles and Mountain Dew can do for your ability to concentrate. And hey: bonus time to play games on your phone if you're too wired to sleep the night before a ride, who doesn't love that?
- Honey, that raincoat might be comfortable, and it might keep you warm and dry when it dumps down sleet, but there are gonna be photographers out there, and that outfit totally clashes with mine. Functional is for other people. We are here to look fabulous.
- We're goin' my speed, and that's final. If you want to choose a pace based on the terrain and your pony's fitness, I'm gonna leave you far behind, and that is your problem, not mine.
- My horse kicks at horses, chews on equipment, and pees on the vet. I'm just sayin'.
- No, I'm not gonna wear a helmet. I paid a lot of money for this great hair. I'm not gonna get it all sweaty and smashed down just for your paranoia. Not happenin'.
- I hope you brought enough snacks to share with me, young Fairy. I love other people's snacks. And no: I'm not sharing my snacks with you. Why would I do that? Sheesh.
- I just need to take this one phone call, then maybe I'll talk to you. Except my battery is dying. Gimme your phone.
- Your horse is lame (hungry/thirsty/tired)? Sucks to be you, kid. I need to finish this ride. You can follow along the trail, I'm going on ahead to win!
- If you're allergic to bee-stings, then why did you get stung? You aren't very good at planning, are you, young Fairy?
You can see by my rules that I am an excellent sponsor.
Maybe, if you're very lucky, young Fairy, you will get to ride with me some day!
|Haiku Farm is not liable for any Bad Ideas© you pick up from this blog post.|