Saturday, May 8, 2010

In which we celebrate Saturday Stories : A Dog-lover's Story

This is one of the very first stories I learned, and I cannot remember where the heck I learned it. How frustrating.

For years I searched for the source of this story, and believe it or not, it appears that a version of the tale was originally written by Rod Serling as an episode of The Twilight Zone. I've never seen the episode, but it surely makes for a nice story! --A

The Dog-Lover's Story

A man and his dog were walking home one night, when a branch broke from a tree overhead and fell on them both, killing them instantly.

After a while, they stood up.

In front of them was a road, so they followed it.

After a while, they came to a big green lawn surrounded by a high fence.

Out on the lawn, well-dressed people were sitting at card tables, playing games and drinking lemonade. The man waved to the people, and some of them waved back.

When he came to the beautiful gates, the man started to walk in, but from overhead he heard a gigantic voice say, "Hey! You can't bring that dirty old dog in here! No animals allowed."

The man looked at the green lawn and the card tables and the lemonade.

Then he looked down at his dog.

"Well," he said to the dog, "if they won't let you in here, I guess I don't need to go in either."

So they kept walking down the road.

After a while, they came to a big field. Out in the field, some folks were playing with dogs. Some folks were sleeping in the sun with cats. Some folks were riding horses up in the hills.
The man waved to the people, and some of them waved back.

He got to the gate and looked in.

Then he asked, "What is this place?"

And the people inside answered,
"Well, this is Heaven. Come on in! And bring that fine dog with you!"

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

In which I take liberties with sacred texts, which is not surprising

Endurance Granny has posted The Ten Commandments According to an Endurance Horse.

You know me. I just cannot leave other people's stuff alone. Sigh.

So: here it is!

The Ten Commandments According to a STANDARDBRED
1. I am the standardbred, a truly American horse, chosen for working all day and racing all night. You will not find a horse more sensible in all the land.
2. I am the standardbred, you shall not make a carved or painted image of a prettier horse just because I have a head like a bootbox.
3. You shall not take the name of your standardbred in vain. Remember that "STB" also stands for "stubborn", and if you didn't read the small print on that part of the contract it's your own dang fault.
4. Remember the Sabbath day and leave off early from church so we can zoom around on the trails before all the fat quarter horses show up. We can practice dressage during the week, fer cryin' out loud!
5. Honor your father and your mother, while you are doing that, I think bringing me extra horse cookies on Mother's Day and Father's Day is appropriate, since your parents want you to treat me well.
6. I shall not murder the vet, for she is at the ride for my greater welfare and knows exactly where all my itchy spots are.
7. You shall not buy a backup standardbred even when somebody offers you a lovely bay pacing mare right off the track for free. No, you shall not. No. Don't do it. Not even when they offer to deliver to your house at no charge.
8. You shall not steal your neighbor's standardbred, even if she is shorter and has a prettier head and fits my saddle and looks good in my tack.
9. You shall not bear false witness against a standardbred. If you want to say something bad, let's talk about overweight quarter horses.
10. You shall not covet your neighbor's barn which is already built as opposed to the stack of building materials in your own yard. Nor shall you covet your neighbor's truck, even if it is a purple 1.5-ton Dodge 4500 crew cab with a Cummins turbo diesel engine and brand-new tires.