In which today's story features too much inappropriate talking

The Talking Yam (Ghana)

One day a farmer went to his field to dig up yams.  “Hey,” said a yam. “What do you think you’re doing?  You didn’t plant me.  You didn’t water me.  Why do you think you can dig me up?”

The farmer looked at the dog.  “Did you talk?” 

The dog said, “It wasn’t me that talked.  It was the yam.”

“A talking yam?  Ah-yeeee!”  and the farmer ran uphill and downhill until he came to a fisherman with a net of fish.

“Why are you running in the heat of the day?” asked the fisherman. 

“Well,” said the farmer, “first the yam talked, then the dog talked.”

“Don’t be silly,” said the fisherman.  “Yams don’t talk.  And dogs don’t talk.” 

“Oh yes they do!” said the fish.

“Talking fish?  Ah-yeee!”  and the farmer and the fisherman ran uphill and downhill until they came to a swimmer in a lake. 

“Why are you running in the heat of the day?” asked the swimmer.

“Well,” said the farmer and the fisherman, “first the yam talked.  Then the dog talked.  Then the fish talked.”

“Don’t be silly,” said the swimmer.  “Yams don’t talk.  And dogs don’t talk.  And fish don’t talk.” 

“Oh yes they do!” said the lake.

“Talking water?  Ah-yeee!” and the farmer and the fisherman and the swimmer ran uphill and downhill until they came to a weaver with a loom.

“Why are you running in the heat of the day?” asked the weaver.

“Well,” said the farmer and the fisherman and the swimmer, “first the yam talked, then the dog talked.  Then the fish talked, then the water talked.” 

“Don’t be silly,” said the weaver.  “Yams don’t talk, and dogs don’t talk, and fish don’t talk, and water doesn’t talk.”

“Oh yes they do!” said the cloth.

“Talking cloth?  Ah-yeee!”  and the farmer and the fisherman and the swimmer and the weaver ran uphill and downhill until they came to the king on his royal stool.

“Why are you running in the heat of the day?” asked the king.

“Well,” said the farmer and the fisherman and the swimmer and the weaver, “first the yam talked, then the dog talked, then the fish talked, then the water talked, then the cloth talked.”

“What?” said the king.  “That is the silliest thing I’ve ever heard.  Go home, you silly people, and stop running around.”

So the farmer and the fisherman and the swimmer and the weaver went home. 

The king sat back on his royal stool and said, “What silly people.  Everyone knows that yams don’t talk.”

“Oh yes they do!” said the stool.

“Talking furniture?  Ah-yeee!” and the king ran uphill and downhill and uphill and downhill…and was never seen again.

These two recipes feature non-talking ingredients:

Will’s Toast

Salmon Cream Cheese on Toast.

Avocado bacon over easy eggs.

Small amount of salt and black pepper (a lot) are added on avocado.

This toast is a simple thing I serve to people for lunch or early dinner.

Cassidy’s Best Grilled Cheese

Sourdough

Cheddar

Avacado

Tomato

Goes well with alphabet soup.  Cayenne and or pepper on the tomato makes it fancy.