In which we share what not to wear on a horse (endurance edition)
This is me, on my horse.
|From bottom to top: Ariat boots. Synthetic half-chaps with accordian pleats. |
Kerrits tights. A cotton t-shirt. (Very sturdy bra, not visible in picture).
Fanny pack. Cooling vest. Cooling scarf. Helmet.
And lots and lots of sunscreen!
I wear the same basic outfit for every endurance ride. In fact, there are some years that it's difficult to say for certain that I own more than 2 t-shirts, because those are the only shirts that show up in photos.
(I have a variation on the basic outfit to wear on cold/wet rides)
The reasoning is simple:
When you ride long distance, you figure out what works.
And you don't wear anything that doesn't work.
My #1 criteria for ride day apparel is: it doesn't rub, chafe, or scrape...and I know this because I've worn every piece of the outfit many times prior to the event.
(#2 criteria is purple, because I am very, very vain!)
So, imagine my surprise when, while tracking down something completely unrelated for work, I found a reference to this book:
|What Not to Wear on a Horse|
by Ginny Oakley and Stephanie Soskin
"What not to wear?" thought I. "Like...sandpaper? Jellyfish? White plastic shopping bags?"
|Caption: "Does my bum look big in these?"|
This 2005 book, published for the British horse show crowd, is all about being correct and looking svelte while on (and around) horses.
This book is not intended for me and my crowd. (Obviously.)
So, while the book's authors want to be sure you notice what is not correct and/or not flattering in this picture:
|Caption: "nearly, but not quite. Hairnet is too long, |
and obvious mistake with ribbons."
(and also: how can you make a mistake with ribbons, unless they are wrapped tightly around your neck or something?!?!???)
Then there's this:
|Caption: "warm waistcoat but we suggest long sleeves may be sensible for warmth|
and for covering larger biceps"
Aside from the vocabulary issue with the page above (waistcoat = vest, and don't I recall from the Bridget Jones novels that "vest" is slang for "bra"?), I stumbled on:
1. A need to cover biceps? Hey, I work hard to build up my guns, I'm not gonna cover 'em up if the weather is warm enough to uncover 'em!
2. THE WHIP. Because Indiana Jones doesn't ride at my barn!
This book had something to say about attire for crew:
|Caption: 1. would you accept a light, let alone a leg-up from this man? |
2. nice colour coordination, but not quite smart enough.
3. easy wear, at home or away, for the showring mother.
I might be stereotyping, but the fellow in the red vest (waistcoat?) would be my first stop if I need help hoisting a water tank or toting a bucket-ton of gear to the vet check. The guy in the straw hat looks like a vet to me (except that he doesn't have a stethoscope around his neck), and the lady is gonna mess up that nice jacket in camp, but I'll bet she's got a flask of something lovely in that basket!
Here's my crew:
Fun, funky and small?
|shovels and rakes and implements of destruction|
(including chainsaws and off-leash floofs)
Towards the back of the book, the fashion authority did include some apparel that I consider useful:
|Caption: fun, funky clothes for the smaller people in your life|
Fun, funky and small?
What do you seek out and what do you avoid? The comment box is open!